Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
