No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦ðŸ¼â€â™€ï¸
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