Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize