Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
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