so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
