Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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