Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
This is my gift to your gina
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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