I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
