The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
All I want is dick and wine.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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