"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Randomize
