he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
