Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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