ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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