i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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