I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
