He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
