Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We need to get me chipped asap
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
I'm bleeding and have questions
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
