his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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