I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
