Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
