just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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