Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
