I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
