Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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