You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
