Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Randomize
