i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
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