alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
