Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize