The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
After tacos, we're chasing women.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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