Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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