PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
