I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize
