I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
my mouth tastes like poor choices
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
