I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
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