Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
