the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Randomize
