guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I understand Curling. That high.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
