Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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