dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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