I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
