you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize