now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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