Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
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