i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
