Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize