Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Too much gin, very little bucket
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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