Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
