so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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