I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
