So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
