Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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