Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
