her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
