At least make sure they are 18
Why
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
