I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
