Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize