They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize