idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
