I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
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