She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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