Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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