Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
how drunk are you?
Several
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
