Ambien. No doubt about it.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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