farters have to be the big spoon...
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
