no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
